It took me a while to realize I should drop the morality gymnastics and see the wrong for what it was.
People reveal how they caught their partner cheating - INSIDER
I should just stop picking up the phone. Just refuse to play my part in that ridiculous drama. When I finally did, it was liberating. Part of the reason why I was the other woman for so long is because I had very low self-esteem. I knew I wanted someone to commit to me, someone who was invested in a relationship with me and made me a priority, not someone I had to share with another woman.
Polyamory is so not my thing.
Yet, I shared. It felt good to have his attention.
In a twisted way, it makes you feel as if he likes you more than her. You matter more. The spell began to break for me when I realized that, if he liked me so much, he should get on with it and break up with her already. If I was as special as he insisted I was, he would have done it.
I also realized that, if he lied to her, he would lie to me too.
She may not be cheating but, what if she is?
Even if he did break up with her for me, he would only move on from cheating on her to cheating on me. That was when I realized I should go after what I wanted. Therefore, I should look for someone who shared my values and not settle for less. As for his girlfriend, she eventually broke up with him. I interpreted that as her setting her own worth as well.
5 Reasons Why Husbands Cheat on the Perfect Wife
She was looking for someone she could be exclusive with, not someone who lied to her about being faithful. Good for her. I would had dreams about it. I would jump while walking on the street whenever I saw someone who looked like his girlfriend. My face would go red hot in those circumstances.
Back then, a lot of women I saw on the street looked just like her. It was a double guilt of having helped cause another woman pain, and of having caused myself pain as I lost so much time in a relationship that was clearly going nowhere. Every time I think about that relationship, I still feel it.
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I have learned to forgive myself and live with it, but sometimes, I do still feel it. What hurts the most about cheating are the lies and the broken promises. Cheating, in a nutshell, is liying. Be honest with your partner. Keep in mind that trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild. So start out the right way, with honesty. With your partner and with yourself.
Sign in. Get started. If your desire is to save your marriage I urge you to talk to a therapist before confronting your wife. A therapist can help you process the information and emotions and guide you in the steps you need to take to save the marriage.
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It is important that you know you are not alone, that you have a confidant to go to when your emotions get the best of you. Your marital problems are your business; keep it close to the chest. Marriages and affairs are uniquely individual. You need to develop a plan for personal and marital recovery based on your marriage and your relationship with your wife.
1. You don’t know if you should try to save the relationship.
Take care of your emotional and physical needs. Lean on your support system, talk to a therapist, do what you need to do to keep your emotions from causing you illness. Eat a balanced diet so the stress of your situation does not interfere with optimum physical well-being. Exercise regularly, nothing alleviates stress and staves off depression like a regular work-out routine. Whether or not you want a divorce , it is in your best interest to consult with a divorce attorney if your wife is cheating. Confront your wife about her betrayal. It is important to have proof of the infidelity and all your ducks in a row.
Make the decision whether to stay in the marriage or file for a divorce. If your wife refuses to give up the affair, you have two choices.
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